And today I am trying to make one more hard, important, life-changing decision about career pursuits. It depends wholly on others: their help, support, time, etc. And it's about having kids and having a career, naturally. About pursuing graduate school now, or waiting. It's about feeling like time is slipping by (my time, and their childhood's both.)
It's about loving them hard: my boys with their sweet sticky grins and laughter and innocence, and about about wanting the best for the... and also wanting the best for me. It's about wondering if those are mutually inclusive or mutually exclusive.
It's about getting ahead or falling behind and about hopefully ending up right where I'm supposed to be.
(I'm curious what you believe: Does the universe have the outcome planned, or are we architects of the outcomes all on our own?)
Trusting, trusting, trusting.