A year goes quickly by / by Christina Rosalie

It’s New Year’s Eve, and like nearly everyone else who has lived since the time when the calendar we use today first was implemented, I find myself taking pause, making lists, and feeling a bit dumbfounded at how quickly and suddenly the year has come to completion. This year was one of beginnings and endings for me. One of monumental changes. A job ended. Motherhood began. My entire sense of self has shifted deeply this year.

I want to write profound things, or at least meaningful ones, but my head aches from too little sleep. Yesterday we played. Today we drove home: seven hours in the car with Bean, starting at 4a.m. Tiredness saturates my body. We didn’t leave the house clean, and came back to find it had not cleaned itself. The plants---almost dead, the laundry—still not done. But it feels good to be home again in this tiny place where Bean is safe in every room (all hazards have already been cleared) and I can scoot from the bathroom to the bedroom in barely a towel without worrying I’ll offend someone.

I sit with my feet on DH’s thigh, my laptop in my lap, and the cat curled close to my toes. Our shared silence and closeness fills me with contentment. And then I think, CRAP. We’re acting like OLD FOLKS. We had dinner with friends, babies in tow, at five. Watched fireworks over the water by 7:30, and by 8 p.m. were home running a bath for Bean. But oddly, it’s been the best New Year’s Eve I can remember in a long time. So much to look forward to. So much to be greatful for. And absolutely zero expectations of a glamorous night out somewhere in uncomfortably pretty shoes and a slinky dress.

So here are my lists (I love lists):

Do: The Artist’s Way creative workshop. The Breadloaf Writer’s workshop Get to know the neighbors in our new home Learn to make authentic chai tea Plant a vegetable garden Apprentice at an apiary Complete a triathlon

Be: Present in the moment Patient with my son and husband Open to new possibilities Flexible in the face of change Generous with the resources I have Brave enough to take risks Disciplined enough to follow through

Dream: Of having a life rich in experiences Of traveling abroad with my family Of teaching writing Of making a home, HOME Of growing new friendships Of becoming involved in the local community Of making a difference