Too two. / by Christina Rosalie

The house is dubiously full of snoring. In the past hour and a half I somehow managed to put three humans of the male sex to sleep. Well, two, technically. The third one happened to just come into the bedroom where I was hunched over my laptop in the semi dark rocking our friend’s baby in his carseat while reading blogs, and the next thing I knew it he was on our bed and snoring. If only the other two were that easy! But Bean, in a fit of what can only be called jealousy, needed an extra-strength session of cuddling, pressing his small face against mine to be kissed over and over again while I rocked to him and sang. And the little baby, well, he did his little baby thing: squirming about a bit, and in general just living up to the proverbial witching hour. It’s been one of those nights that feels like some sort of sci-fi time travel film: “A glimpse of what your life would be like if you had two under two.” We’re babysitting our friend’s gorgeous little three month old pip, while they attend a wedding reception, and it’s been quite the head trip spend an evening with someone so small. DH and I kept sort of marveling to each other at all his tinyness. His feet! His hands! SO SMALL! And also, he just eats and sleeps!

It is also fascinating for us to watch Bean, who is now almost 1.5 years old, and 100% true toddler, around the baby. At first he sort of treated the little guy like maybe he was a new cat, interested, but not entirely. But when I took over a bottle feeding, Bean was no longer amused. He was sure he was being replaced, and he flung himself on my legs. He tried to take the baby’s burp cloth, threw his dish on the floor, and when DH tried to carry him off for a nap, he wailed in the most pathetic way possible, “Mamamamamamama!” Poor guy.

It has occurred to us that there is no way we’re having another baby for at least a couple of years—if not a handful. Somehow, though we both see the logic of having little ones close together, neither of us can quite wrap our heads around the idea of no down time, double the diapers, and bedtime routines that involve juggling small humans. We’re just not superhuman enough.

We’re the kind of parents who had to figure out that our kid might actually appreciate it if we BRING SNACKS with us when we go on errands. We routinely forget the diaper bag. We loose his shoes. (Really. I currently know where one of each of three pairs of shoes are, but haven’t the foggiest where their mates might be.) Sippy cups accumulate in the sink.

And we’re always late.

Therefore it occurred to me tonight that if YOU are a mom and you have two little rascals under two, I hereby bow down at your feet in complete awe.