Feeling tiredness crowd me like breathy people on a commuter train, I write a few scattered sentences and prepare for bed. The house is humming: the heat turning on, DH playing guitar, the low moan of the wind pulling around the northern corner. I feel snug tonight. Impatient still, with no answer yet, but content because I ran four miles today, watching my lanky legs in the mirror to work on form. God, I look like a gorilla on stilts. I throw my left foot out at a funny angle, it seems; which explains why I always have a splotch of mud on my right calf after every run. I kick myself. Whatâ€™s left to write after writing that? But the running felt good. I kept a nice 9:30 mile pace and felt my lungs expanding easily. At the end I was grinning, inadvertently. Other things Iâ€™m thrilled about tonight:
* The gorgeous Sam of Sunday School Rebel is having a BOY! Clearly, Iâ€™m partial here.
* Iâ€™ve started reading Eat, Pray, Love and was pulled right in. I love books that do that to you. Her writing has a conversational tone, tender and honest, like sheâ€™s talking to you over tea.
* DH gave me a new laptop yesterday. There it was on the counter when I came home, in itâ€™s snug little box. Itâ€™s so pretty and sleek and utterly functional that I can hardly contain my glee. And it doesnâ€™t have a fubar every five seconds like my old one was apt to do (the fan sounded like a jet plane, and the power adapter port only worked every OTHER second. GAH!)
Things I am not thrilled about:
* The fact that still, every night, Bean has been waking up and wailing and insisting on going to bed in â€œmommy and daddyâ€™s bedâ€ or being rocked for eons. Itâ€™s wearing me thin. I want him to sleep through the night, happily, in his own room. Here are the things I know: heâ€™s definitely cutting his last incisor right now, and his nose is all stuffed up. But reallyâ€”does that warrant this? Iâ€™d love adviceâ€¦ (Know, we canâ€™t for various reasons bring ourselves to be of the â€œcry it outâ€ camp, including among other more important reasons, that his cries make it impossible to sleep. And also, how can you NOT go, when he calls, â€œMama, Daddy, where ARE you? Need HELP. Need a HUG.â€)
Do I just ride this out and tell everyone that raccoon eyes are the new thing? Or is there some strategy Iâ€™m overlooking?